No Checking

I noticed how quickly I look back. Not always physically. Sometimes just mentally. Replaying the interactions that may have unfolded during the day. Measuring the tones of whoever it is I spoke with. Normally, I would try to detect if something shifted after I honored myself. This week, I didn’t do that. I let my choices exist without monitoring their effect. I stopped carrying. No scanning the room afterward. No trying to read between pauses. No quiet adjustments to make sure everything still felt okay. Just letting the moment settle exactly where it needed to be. I am not going to lie, at first, it felt exposed. It felt like I was lying to myself and that I needed to be saying something. Like I should be paying attention for signs. Like staying aware would protect me from something. But the constant checking was pulling me away from myself. So I stopped following every ripple. I finally stopped caring because I no longer needed reassurance after choosing myself. There’s a stillness in that. A life that continues without me needing to track every response to my presence inside of it.

Prompt: Where are you looking for reassurance?

Practice: Notice the urge to check. Stop & Stay with it instead.